QuestionI have had my 15 month old border collie mix, Akiva, since she was 8 weeks old. I take her to work with me daily and she gets along well with people and plays well with other dogs. She generally greets visitors (known and strangers) by bringing them one of her toys and offering it to them to play with her. She is especially sociable with my two teenagers and their friends. She has been fully potty trained since about 4 months old and never has accidents. She gets lots of attention, exercise and has "work" that she does each day that entertains her.
About 2 months ago, I reconciled with my ex-boyfriend. Whenever he comes over, Akiva cowers down on the ground and urinates. She will then play with him and act normally the rest of the visit. He has never hurt her and always plays with her, but she continues this greeting behavior only with him. He is also very kind to me and others in our household, so I don't believe it is out of fear of harm from him. She has never done this with another man. Is there anything that I can do to correct this behavior?
Thank you,
Kristi Borean
Angels Camp, CA
AnswerHi Kristi,
Am I correct in saying that the only time Akiva urinates in greeting is with your ex-boyfriend? If so, it sounds as though she is simply submitting to his dominance.
Dogs have several behaviors designed to reduce violence between them. When challenged, a submissive dog must display some or all of these behaviors to display its lower status and to prevent an attack. Submissive urination is most commonly offered in this type of greeting. By wetting, the dog is merely acknowledging the other dog's superiority. In this case she is acknowledging your ex-boyfriends superiority.
Fixing the problem starts with understanding what signals trigger Akiva's reaction. First, dogs assume that direct eye contact is a challenge. For a submissive dog, even a moment's eye contact can be intolerable. Eye contact from above, indicating that they other dog is taller, heightens this reaction. For Akiva, a person towering over the top of her is guaranteed to cause a submissive gesture.
I suggest that your ex-boyfriend try ignoring Akiva (not even to look directly at her) until the excitement of his being there wears off. Barriers such as kiddy gates can allow Akiva to get used to the person's presence before actually greeting them. While this reduces his tendency to eliminate at first sight, you must still eventually deal with the actual greeting. When you remove the gate, it is a good idea to discourage her from rushing quickly at your ex-boyfriend and jumping on him (if that happens), as it puts her in a position that is likely to trigger the submissive urination.
Another possibility is to allow the greeting to be completed outdoors. This allows you to mold her behavior without distractions. By this I mean she will not be scolded for urinating in the house and the rushing to clean up the puddle. You can then concentrate on directly correcting the behavior by using the same tone of voice, word(s), and motions to let her know she has done incorrectly. When you take her out to "piddle" what word do you use repeatedly to encourage her to go? You might use that word and proceed it with No "piddle". When she stops and allows a normal greeting or petting soften voice and praise her. With scolding you must also remember every time she greets in a proper manner you must praise her.
From what you have mentioned, I would try the doggie gate first and tell your ex-boyfriend to ignore her and sit down when he first enters the house. That will bring him down closer to the ground and also keep him away from her while she is able to watch or hear from a distance but not participate.
I do hope this works for you. Should you have any further questions, please feel free to write again.
