Neurotic 5 year old ACS...and getting worse.

Question
Hi there,
I'm not even sure where to begin.  I have had my 5 year old male american cocker since he was 8 weeks old.  At the time and until the past year, I was without children of my own.  He was my son without a doubt.   I take him everywhere with me and even to work.  I am a sales rep and it is possible for him to stay in the car while I am making calls.  He has always been very attached to me, following me upstairs, downstairs, outside..wherever.  I have had a cocker with extreme separation anxiety and I cannot say that Rupert has this, but then again, he is never really left alone.  On the rare occasion that he was alone (for never more than 4-5 hours) he often would vomit.  I sort of just lived with that for years then finally investigated him having food allergies, put him on a wild salmon & potato diet and that seems to be helping.   He has always been awfully rude when anyone comes to the door.  He charges/jumps up and barks and basically goes nuts at anyone, even passserbyers.  I have tried everything to stop that, to no avail.  I have learned to live with that nuance becuase compared to the other issues it seems like no big deal, although my husband could do without it for sure. Even when he knows it's my husband or the kids and they have entered the house already he still feels the need to bark.  And in the car....a person cannot even walk past the car, let alone get in, and he's losing it.  I had a baby last November and was really worried how Rupert would be and I have to say I was surprised.  At first he was nervous around him but now they play and steal each others toys etc.  I still keep a close eye because I do not entirely trust that he wont nip at my son.  My biggest problems, and I am extemely annoyed by these, are as follows...
- He follows me very closely EVERYWHERE now, constantly under my feet. I am tripping on him all the time.  He stares at me when I am working, making dinner or anything.  If I put him outside on the deck he just stares through the window at me.  I worry that he is not relaxing or calm because he's so concerned with where I am. I thnk it's really unhealthy.
- He hates my elderly father in law for some reason (and no, nothing has ever happened - they have never been left alone together).  I think it all started when Rupert was a puppy and my FIL sneezed, about 10 times in a row.  It freaked him out and he has never forgotten.  When he comes to visit, Rupert shakes like a leaf and runs around like crazy.  I've had to resort to locking him in my room when he's over and if we go to his house for a weekend I cannot take Rupert - he has to be doggie sat. It is really embarrasing because my FIL trys to pet Rupert and he sucks his little tail stub in and runs away yelping.
- On top of those he is afraid of the vaccuum, sirens (he howls to the moon when they go by, bubble gum chewing ( he actually will try to jump in my lap and hide if you pop a bubble!) just to name a few things.
Please offer any advice you can I am at my wits end.  I love my dog but Rupert seems to be getting worse each day and I'm thinking he may need some sort of medication to help. Someone even suggested benadryl?  

Thanks in advance.

Answer
Well, you've trained him previously to "be with you" all the time and I wonder how much interaction the other family members have with him.  You've let these issues go on for 5 years and now you're at your wit's end?
But...yes..this can be altered.  If you're committed to helping him.  And that means time and energy put into training.  He's still a young dog and there's no reason these things can't be addressed one thing at a time.

I'd also ask how much exercise Rupert gets?  Pent up energy is responsible for a ton of doggie maladjustments.  He needs two half hour walks a day.  That's a minimum.

Under no circumstances try to medicate him.  It's not an answer.

If you want to work at getting Rupert more stable, I'd be happy to help.  You can re-send this email to me directly at DeeBeck7765@aol.com and I'd like to know what commands Rupert knows and the extent of his training.
Delores