1 hyper Shih Tzu - 1 barking Shih Tzu

Question
Hi Lee,
 We got a male Shih Tzu when he was 12 weeks old. His mom had nothing to do with any of the pups, they were hand fed and hand raised and each kept in a separate tote. He was not house broken or anything. When we got him home he immediately ate three bowls of food and drank a whole bowl of water!
 I taught him to "SIT" and to "BEG!" (OK, it was CUTE on a puppy!) I thought I would NEVER get him house broken, until I figured out a secret, and did it in a weekend!

Then he decided to be a "Daddy's" boy! Since I am such a beast, and tried to teach puppy not to pee on the floor!! "Daddy" felt sorry for him and let him run amok! Now, we have the spoiled Shih Tzu from HELL that whines when he doesn't get his way or get what he wants! Which is constantly! He will not amuse himself, he expects us to stop what we're doing and do it.
He does love a pig ear, and chews on it all the time, like it was a dead animal carcass that he's ripping from limb to limb.
"Daddy" decided that we should get a SECOND DOG, a 3 year old female Shih Tzu. SURPRISE!!!! (What was he thinking?) NOW! When I raise my voice at the male, SHE barks at me like I'm the spawn of Satan! If I'm in the other room and cough, she goes on a barking jag! If I walk through the room she is in, she barks at me like I'm a burglar! It's been FOUR months, and it's getting OLD!!!
  The male has to be physically PUT to bed at night, so we can have some peace before we retire for the night. Then he WHINES! And whines! And whines........
 In a word he is: Manipulating! Spoiled! Controlling! Demanding! Did I mention Spoiled? Needy! Has emotional issues from his mommy abandoning him! Arrogant! ..and everything revolves around him, and his whining and neediness.
 We can't enjoy a meal, a nap, anything! I am at my wits end with both of them. Also,four times when I attempted to discipline him, he showed his teeth and turned into an aggressive Pit Bull! I seriously feared he would bite me.
 I am ready to get rid of him. I would feel guilty if I didn't tell the new owner/shelter that he has tried to bite me several times. His cute looks are deceiving.
 I have him on "RelaxForm" (contains 125 mg each Valerian
root, Skullcap, Hops and Passion Flower)one  in the morning and one at night. I am not happy with the results! It doesn't calm him down enough, and if he goes outside and plays or takes a nap, it seems to wear off.
All of the fights my guy and I have had in the last year and a half, have been over the dog. He doesn't think the dog is a problem. (he's on more meds from an auto accident in 1999 so he doesn't get the FULL EFFECT of the dog. HE seems to be able to TUNE THE DOG OUT!!!)
 I'm at my wits end! WE both work from home, and the dog makes it impossible for me to even hear myself think!
 PLEASE HELP or the dog goes to the Shelter, and "Daddy" can go back to his mommy!!! ;)
Thanks tons!!!
Linda


Answer
Hi, Linda,

Thanks for contacting me.

This is a difficult situation for both you and the dogs.

I think it's important for you to understand that the male is NOT spoiled, manipulative, controlling, and demanding. (Well, obviously he IS, but there's a reason for it.) He's actually exhibiting a great deal of stress, anxiety, and what I would basically call unhappiness. And the kicker is that there's very little YOU can do about it. In other words, the fault is not in you or the dog, it's in the doggie's "daddy." He needs to understand how unhappy and stressed and anxious his behavior has made the dog.

I said there's very little you can do about it, but the fact is there's something very important you can do for both dogs: play with them. It's best to do this with each dog separately, at least in the beginning. And you only need to do it for about 15 mins., 2x a day, with each dog. Yes, I know that adds up to an hour of playful interaction with the dogs, but guess what? If you really get into the fun of it with your doggies, it'll not only reduce a ton of THEIR stress, it'll also make you happier, more relaxed, and less stressed yourself.

The primary reason the female barks at you is ALSO because of stress. She's aware, on an emotional level, of how much you dislike her. She basically thinks you're her enemy. She's afraid of you. (Dogs only act this way when they're concerned about their own survival.) She particularly doesn't like it when you use your scolding voice, because it feels to her like she's being threatened, this scares her, so she barks to try to protect herself from being harmed.

Also, the reason the male tried to bite you is that scolding, punishment, and discipline aren't very effective means of changing behaviors in, or communicating with, any dog. We've all been taught that we have to show the dog who's boss, that we're the pack leader, etc. The idea is that there's a pack leader in wild wolf packs, and that dogs are descended from wolves, etc. But it's not true. There is no pack leader in wild wolf packs. Wolf packs actually form for the purpose of hunting large prey, which requires intense group cooperation and trust. No member of the pack ever disciplines another one. http://tinyurl.com/2q2esp

So, here's your basic plan:

Let the guy know he's making the dogs unhappy and stressed. No matter what YOU do, if he doesn't understand that he's causing them unhappiness your progress will be hobbled by his spoiling tactics.

Get down on the dog's level and play with each of them separately for 15 mins 2x a day. If you do this before bed with the male he may start going to sleep at night without whining.

Once you can get each dog to play with you separately, you can start playing with them as a group. But they have to feel that they can trust you, which means no more "discipline" or scolding.

I'm not sure this is what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helps!

LCK