Merging cats from different households

Question

Thank you SO much!

It sounds like we did the right things (but I will try the vanilla and the Feliway), other than increasing the pace far too quickly and forcing her out into the rest of the house.

We'll go back to  keeping her isolated in the bedroom, and wait for her to be ready in her own time.

I feel so much better to hear you say that Im not causing her harm by forcing her to move. :)

To answer your initial question, she was very friendly with the other cats/kittens at the shelter... but shortly after adopting her, my (then) boyfriend and I went away for 10 days on vacation, and she was kitty-sat (in our apt) by a friend of mine. This friend sometimes brought her very young daughter who I suspect was a little too eager to make friends. Zoe's been pretty skittish about strangers (and terrified of children) ever since.

But hopefully in time she'll adjust. I was hoping they would make friends so that she isnt alone all day when im working. But at least since my boyfriend works from a home office, she'll at least have his company during the day while Im at work.

Thanks again, and I'll definately keep you posted on our progress.

best wishes,

Heather

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Followup To

Question -
Hi,

My cat (female, spayed, 6 years old) is very shy with anyone but me, although her first 3 months were spent in a kitten shelter where none of the animals were caged.

I am planning to move in with my boyfriend at the end of the summer - and he has 2 cats (both male, both neutered. One is 7 years old, the other is 2).

For the last 10 days, we've had my cat at his house, to see if she can learn to like living there. We tried 2 other visits over the past year - one for a few hours, and another for a weekend. Both times, we locked the boys in "their" bedroom and let zoe wander around the house to see what she thought. She was scared, but wandered around and seemed ok, given the circumstances.

However, anytime she sees the other cats, she bolts for a corner or under a bed. She hisses and spits if they come near.

In the last 10 days, she seems to make progress if the boys are nowhere around... she'll still come to us and curl up and purr and be pet. But if she sees the other cats at all she has a fit.

I really dont want to cause her so much distress and unhappiness - but I also dont want to give her away if I can avoid it. (My roommate would love to adopt her when I move out, but we both want me to keep her if at all possible).

The other cats are not at all violent towards her, and just seem to come over to say hello.

Can you think of anything at all that we can do to help her adjust? I can give her longer to adjust, but I hate to see her so unhappy. If it simply is that some cats cant adjust to sharing space, I will sacrifice my keeping her so she will stop being miserable. But if I can do anything to improve her quality of life and increase the chance of having them get along, I'd love some advice.

thanks so much,

Heather  

Answer
Wow!  That is absolutely wonderful to hear!  

Yes, it could have easily been the little girl that initially started her feeling the way she does.  The good thing about that, though, is that she will more than likely come back to being the relaxed and fun-loving kitty you initialy brought home when you adopted her.

So, yeah, you're doing everything completely right, which I'm so happy to hear.  Your baby is lucky to have you for a mama!!

Just keep in mind that she's okay, she's just adjusting to things, and she will more than likely in time relax and come out more and more often.  :o)

Yes...keep me updated!  It'd be so nice to hear how she's doing from time to time!  :o)

Many hugs to you all,

Rosie