Sorry about that!

Question
QUESTION: I entered the wrong email. Instead of a hyphen my email has a period in it.
This is in regards to a previous question I asked about my bombay cat, Sophie.
Sorry for the mix-up!
-Julia

ANSWER: Julia,

That's OK, it happens. I did answer the question so if you didn't get it because of the wrong email address here is a copy of what I wrote:


Questioner:   Julia
Category:  Cat Training and Behavior
Private:  No
 
Subject:  Sophie
Question:  I adopted a kitten last year around may and brought her home, so now she's about a year and half old. Her name is Sophie and she is what I believe to be a purebred Bombay. She is black from head to toe, short-haired and fits the typical breed criteria, all except for her eyes, which are a cross between green and gold.
I have read up her breed and apparently she is supposed to be loving and affectionate, always welcoming to strangers, and loves to be held. A total lap-lover, right?
Oh no, not my Sophie. She doesn't want any of that.
She doesn't typically like anyone, sometimes not even me!
She doesn't always do well with my other cats, Scout (who is an American shorthair kitten of 6 months), Tao (A Siamese ragdoll mix, 8 years old) and Dinah (a Russian blue, 9 and a half years old).
All of these cats are friendly and love company except my Sophie... I just can't understand why.
Of course she can't really do anyone too much harm, she is declawed like all of our cats except our kitten.
She is also fixed and has had all her shots. All of our cats are indoor cats.
She just growls all the time if you try to pick her up or hold her for too long. If she's around the kitten she hisses at everything. She swats and tries to bite every now and again and she's always ALWAYS fighting with the kitten.
Don't get me wrong, she's good sometimes. Usually in the morning, but that lasts only a half hour.

Where did I go wrong and what can I do, if anything?
I'm desperate to have my kitty love me. :(

 
Answer:  Julia,

Only 3% of all cats are purebred. The rest have something else mixed in. Sophie's behavior sounds as if she had a feral parent. Her behavior is typical of a feral kitten. They do not like to be held or restrained. They can be very loving, follow you around, etc. but they do not like to be petted for any length of time. They give warning signs when they have had enough: they will meow and/or twitch their tails, or their ear may go back. Stop touching them when they do that or you probably will get bit or scratched.

It is inherited and inbred in them to distrust humans. They usually only bond to one person. Even though they are reasonably tame, they still will be skittish with new people or noises.

That is the way they are and you should accept that and not try to be cuddly with her. They are not like domesticated house cats and will not behave like one.

Hissing, growling, and slaps are normal kitty communication. Sophie is probably telling other cats to leave her alone. Some cats are loners and prefer it that way. As long as there isn't any major fur flying or blood being shed then I wouldn't worry too much. The other cats understand what Sophie means when she hisses.

Also de-clawing is very bad to do to a cat. You should just trim their claws. A cat can have lifelong problems from declawing including exposed nerves that you can't see that makes it painful to use to litterbox. Pain can make a cat act declaring also. Sophie may still have pain from the declawing. To declaw they cut off the 'fingers' up to the first knuckle so the claw doesn't grow back. It is very painful for a cat. To use a litterbox it is like digging in gravel with nubs for fingers. And if a cat does accidently escape from the house it cannot defend itself.

I would give some consideration to the facts of declawing before I declaw the kitten. Here are a couple articles to read:
(copy and paste, or type, the whole link into your address bar)

http://www.declawing.com/
http://www.hdw-inc.com/declaw.htm
http://cats.about.com/cs/declawing/a/declawing.htm

I hope this helps answer your question about Sophie's behavior. And please re-think about future declawing. It's only fair to the cat for you to be fully informed before you make that important decision so take time to read the links. Thank you!

Tabbi


 


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I guess Sophie is not a purebred...
I've looked into it more and apparently she IS from feral cats.
My mom is ignorant to the whole matter. She constantly tries to assure me that the cat is nice to her and myself but I keep telling her, it's not about her, it's about the cat. There is a difference between tolerance and kind and Sophie only tolerates my mother, she doesn't really have much to do with her.
I'm the closest person to my cat and I can only manage small interactions with her from time to time.
I accept Sophie for who she is, but I cannot help but think that my cat is unhappy.
I want to do what I can to show her that I care but it's hard when she doesn't want to be held or pet for too long, and I'm talking like a minute of interaction at best.
I can only hold her for a few seconds before she starts to squirm around.
I never really wanted any of my cats declawed, but my mom will not let them into her home unless we do it. She is in total disbelief that they could be in pain.
It just breaks my heart to ever have her hiss at me.
Sophie wasn't always like this, you know?
We brought her home and she was just a silly kitten who loved to play. She cuddled and liked being held then, but something between now and then went wrong.

In the next two years things are going to change dynamically for her and I. I'm going to be getting married and then Sophie will be moved into a new environment with only one cat with only two people, instead of three other cats and at times over six other people in our home.

Do you know if there's a chance Sophie could ever change based off of what happens in her new environment and all?


Answer
Julia,

Don't feel bad about Sophie. It's her, not you. She probably was playful as a kitten because she hadn't developed her personality yet. As they do, they change, especially a kitten from a feral parent. If she has a domestic cat as one parent you will have better luck with her personality. Sophie may come to trust you but she may never be the kind of cat you would like her to be.

I have 3 kittens who had feral parents and I have had them since birth! One is really skittish and will run under the bed if she hears something or someone. Sometimes depending on what it is, she can be under there for hours. One will only let me pet her IF she has a toy in her mouth! Don't ask me why, it's just a quirk of her personality. That one will still bite me and/or hiss at me. Neither one of them will let me hold them. They will immediately squirm away. The third one is completely blind. She loves to be petted and sit on my lap but I can't carry her 2 feet or restrain her. Outside, none will go to anyone else.

I have another who adopted me. She is the biggest grouch I have ever seen. I can pet her maybe 3 times before the paws and claws come at me and she 'yells' at me at the same time. We get along if I just leave her alone. She rubs against my leg to tell me she wants out but otherwise I let her be.

Ferals are hunters by instinct and love to go outside. If they can't go outside you need to satisfy the hunting urge inside. Get a pet laser light (at PetSmart, Petco, or a similar place), they love those! Chasing the 'little red bug' on the floors and walls will help satisfy the hunting urge, tires them out, gives them quality time with you, and is a riot to watch them. But make sure you don't shine the light into their eyes. You may want to leash train her and take her outside. She may enjoy that. Here is a good link on how to:
(copy and paste, or type, the whole link into your address bar)
http://www.hdw-inc.com/leashtraining.htm
though with that comes the problem of them not taking to being restrained. If you have a large dog crate (you can get them at Petco, etc), maybe she would enjoy just being outside to look around and just be outside, but safely. Those are just suggestions.

I get little sparkly crafts balls from Walmart or a craft/fabric store. I throw them and my ferals will fetch them and bring them back. All of them do it, even the blind one (I have a special ball with a bell on it for her).

Any time you spend playing with your cat is good. Her behavior and personality are inbred in her so you are only encouraging her natural instinct when you play interactively with her, which is not a bad thing. Take Sophie in your bedroom and let her have quality time playing with you. That will help her bond with you and learn to trust you more.

Something that hunter type cats like, periodically for a treat, is a raw beef rib bone. I have the butcher cut some in half. The cats satisfy their 'fresh kill' instinct by pulling on the meat, the protein is good for them, and the fibers in the meat help clean their teeth. Not all cats are interested in them (some of mine aren't...one of mine won't touch meat, raw OR cooked!) but the 'hunters' usually have fun with them. Sometimes they will growl too if you look like you might try to take it away.

Don't be upset over her not getting along with the other cats. That probably is also due to the feral background. With ferals, food is scarce, and they see other cats as threats and competition to that food. She doesn't have a food problem now, but again, that behavior and mentality is ingrained into her by heredity.

Ferals are a whole different type of cat that carry a lot of baggage with them. They take a lot of patience and understanding...and special handling. Not everyone can deal with them, but it sounds like you can, or are willing to try. Good for you! And good luck with her. And don't take her behavior personally...it's just her.

Tabbi