potential wrong breed for family with kids

Question
QUESTION: Hello,
I have a question which involves our future dog.  She hasn't even been born yet, but we've put down a deposit on a "comfort retriever" from a breeder.  This puppy, when born, will be 62.5 % cocker spaniel, 25% golden ret., and 12.5% poodle.  We have been very excited about her coming to be with our family, but i recently have been reading articles about cockers and how snappish and unpredictable they can be.  I have 3 children, ages 9,7 and 5.  My youngest is a boy, with a LOT of energy and loud.  I intend to do obedience training and am a stay at home mom who will give attention to the dog and do what needs to be done.  BUT... is this a wise choice for a family with children?  Is it more often the case that a hybrid with majority cocker in it will exhibit those "aggressive" tendencies?  One other breeder i came across commented that she had completely given up on mixing the cocker breed in with golden doodles, that it gave way to too much nipping.  What is your opinion on this?  i am willing to lose the deposit in order to make a wise decision in order to spare us future pain and expense.

thanks much,
Rebecca

ANSWER: People who say cockers are snappy are quite silly.  Can one be?  Sure.  So can any dog.

I'd suggest taking your kids for visits to the breeder when the pup is about 4 weeks or so.
Ask for references (other people who've purchased from this breeder).

The only way to be sure of temperment is to get an older dog.  That way you can tell fairly immediately if a particular dog is a good match for your family.

My own cockers have all been fabulous with kids but NO dog (no matter how mellow) should ever be left unsupervised with young children.  Mostly because of the kids - not the dog :)

If you do go meet the litter - watch which puppy isn't fearful - comes unhesitatingly over.
Roll the puppy over on its' back (gently, of course) and hold them there for a minute - dominant dogs don't like that.

But basically it's a roll of the dice with any puppy of any breed.  I'm sure your own 3 children are all very different and so is each dog.

If I were you - honestly, I'd be getting an adult dog.  And I do commend you for thinking this through carefully.  People who don't do that keep the dog rescues full !

Happy to chat further if that would help.
Delores

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you, your response has been very, very helpful.  I completely understand why you also suggest getting an older dog.  We did try doing that this past fall, got a 3 year old rescue dog who was very sweet and LOVED me, and was completely trained (i loved that part).  The rescue society had said he was one of the best dogs they'd had, and at first we all thought so too.  But, soon enough, we realized he was not fond of my children, he would get up and move anytime they came near, even when they were gentle/cautious.  He had a lot of fear issues, at least with my youngest.  He ended up biting my middle child (not my youngest), when she was leaning down to pet him.  Long story short - after hiring a dog behavioralist from Dog's Best Friend she helped us come to the conclusion he wasn't the best fit for our family.  It was heartbreaking, esp. for me, cause he loved ME so much, but it was a necessary thing.  He just was not happy when the children were around.  I guess that's when we decided we should start with a puppy next time, so we'd know the absolute background on it, start from scratch, and be able to socialize, do training, etc. right from the start.  As well as, have the dog learn that kids can be fun.  That's what brought us to where we are today.
I really like the suggestions you've made, and i'll follow up on doing those things, to make sure we have the right dog for our family, from the start.  Thanks again for your help.

Sincerely,
Rebecca  

Answer
Oh Rebecca, I'm so sorry your previous Rescue didn't work out and I know how hard that must have been.  I do blame the Rescue for this and it's something they should have known.

But let me say this - you CAN tell whether an adult dog likes/is relaxed around children from the first hour.  The fact this boy "got up and moved" was a big clue.

I am concerned that you may think this can all be avoided with a puppy.  If you decide to perhaps even visit a Rescue - I'd have the kids come and tell them to sit on the ground and let the dog come to them.  It's pretty obvious when a dog is "inviting" you to pet them and it's also obvious when they aren't all that interested.

Really well socialized, friendly dogs like kids (a lot of that is due to food dropping :) and they're curious.  So I'd take the family - sit on the ground and meet the dog and see what happens and tell the kids to let the dog take the lead.

If you do go for the puppy - I'm here :) - lots of training coming up !
Best of luck,
Delores