Our cat attacks my wife every night

Question
Hi, I have a question about our cat's aggressive behavior. He's about 21 months old, not sure what breed as we adopted him from the shelter when he was 7 weeks, but he's all white, short fur, and has two different color eyes (one blue, one light yellowish). He's not too big, about 10 pounds.

Almost every night, sometime between 10 PM and 12 PM, our cat decides that he wants to fight with my wife. He'll stalk her for a minute or two and give her the evil eye, and eventually he'll launch himself at her and claw her face, her hands, etc. He never really hurts her bad but he frequently makes minor scratches on her hands when she defends herself. Last week he made a small cut on her nose, and I'm starting to worry that he could get her eye one day.

The attacks are always unprovoked, most times we are just watching TV minding our own business. What's also interesting is that he never, ever attacks me, only my wife.

Here are some other details that may be useful, sorry if it's a lot but I'm trying to give you all the information I can think of!

- at the same time we adopted our cat, we also adopted an 11 week old dog, a doberman / german shepherd mix. Our dog adores the cat, but she plays too rough so we keep them separated. This isn't easy, and the dog tries to chase the cat and corner him and force him to play. We control this by using a remote-controlled spray collar. We press a button to make a beep, and if the dog doesn't stop bothering the cat, another button sprays a puff of gas in her face which always does the trick.

- the cat tends to stay away from our dog, but every once in a while he decides he wants to fight with her, and plays with her for a few minutes. We allow them to play only when the cat initiates it.

- I used to play roughly with our cat until about three months ago. He definitely likes to play rough, which doesn't bother me. I'll let him try to bite my hand while I grab his head and shake him around a little. He rarely scratched me hard when I played like that. I stopped because we thought it may be the cause of his aggressive behavior. In the months since I stopped, his behavior toward my wife has not changed the slightest bit. When I did play rough with him, he was never aggressive toward me like he is to my wife. He'd give me the evil eye but he'd never attack me until I noticed him and decided I was willing to play, and I'd offer my hand as his target.

- my wife rarely plays with him physically because even when he's just playing, he's still too rough for her. Instead she uses toys that he likes to chase, and plays with him that way

- he's not a particularly affectionate cat, he only likes to be pet for about 5 minutes at a time, and only when he hasn't seen us in an hour or two (if we were out, or if it's the morning and we all just woke up). Besides that, he's content with just being in the same room with us. If we leave the room he usually follows us, he doesn't like to be left alone. Throughout the day he will wander off on his own and disappear for a while though

- he definitely likes my wife, it's not like he hates her all the time. he's happy to see her when she arrives him, and lets her pick him up and pet him for a few minutes, etc

- his aggression is almost always at night, always between 10 PM and 12 PM. During this time we are usually getting ready for bed, or laying in bed watching tv. Once he attacked her in our living room when she was taking a nap on the couch during the same time period of 10 - 12

- because of his aggression, he starts almost every night being locked out of our room. Eventually my wife wakes up and opens the door, and he'll find his way in and sleep on the bed with us and be a very well behaved cat from that point on, till the next night starts

That's about all the details I can think of, I hope it's enough! thank you in advance for any help you can give us, we really appreciate it.

Answer
Hi Mike,
I am sorry to hear this. Cats do not like to be played "rough with" by the hands of a human. They need other cats to play as they are growing to tumble with.
And yes, this certainly contributes to aggressive behavior. You trained your cat to associate hands and touching with stressful things. I am sorry to say but it is the equivalent to abusing your cat. I am sure you love him and didn't realize the impact of your actions. You trained him to grab on to your hands with claws and mouth and now he is using his hands and mouth on your wife.

You also adopted him as an "underage cat" so he never learned full social and behavioral skills. Cats need to be with their mom for 8-11 weeks. They should be adopted into homes as pairs to give them proper stimulation and play with their littermate.
I have seen underage cats get adopted and have problems such as aggression or abandonment anxiety because they were dis-serviced by humans and separated from their mother and littermates too early. Some people think 7 weeks is ok, but who knows how long he was without his mother and littermates? Was he in a cage with his mom?

It is terrible that your wife gets attacked. Why is he allowed in the room at that time if he continually attacks her?
People have no idea how they inflict stress on cats, but a hyper dog and rough play  by the hands of a human is enough to create a huge behavior problem in felines and will create aggression or litterbox problems.
Unfortunately, people don't realize it, and many surrender their cats to shelter without the knowledge that the cat will be put to sleep because of how they were "trained to behave and respond to petting"  by the family that kept them. I see this daily at the local shelter. These poor animals are killed because their owner did not know enough about how to raise a cat and treated them in a way that actually wasn't good for them.  This creates an ambivalent relationship to handling and causes overstimulation, biting and undesirable behavior. Many shelter will not adopt out a cat like this and choose to put them to sleep instead/
Think of it as -if someone roughly handles a child-when they stopped roughly handling him would the impact all of a sudden stop? Absolutely, not.  It creates an imprint, a pattern and becomes neurologically conditioned.

Don't ever use your hands as "play toys" when playing with him again, but toys attached to a long wands far enough from your hand.
I commend you for keeping him and now I hope you are able to at least be gentle with him.  Cats are extraordinarily sensitive beasts but are also trained to behave towards humans as they have been treated by humans.
Do not let him sleep in the bedroom with you and yes, he can injure your wife.
He was played roughly with by you and stalked (however innocently) by the dog, and takes his stress out on your wife. When he starts to stalk, divert his attention at the first sign, have a toy for him to catch or a cat tree for him to claw and jump on. At the first sign of the behavior-divert it. You can clap loudly and suddenly to startle him to stop him and have him run off.

Keep his petting GENTLE for extremely short sessions. A few SUPER GENTLE  STROKES-don't overstimulate him. Don't pet him when he pulls back or his ears retract or his tail swishes or he gets the "evil eye" as you call it. Give him his space at that time.
Buy some books on cat behavior, learn to read his body language. Give him proper outlet for mental stimulation and exercise. He is young and activity is important.
Learn Reiki and energy work, hire a cat whisperer to help you. Refuse to put him to sleep. Get a dog trainer to help you get control of the dog.
Dogs need plenty of cardio exercise and sounds like he needs to play with other dogs. You should show the proper boundaries with a gentle and firm love. If the dog is given adequate exercise and playmates and behavior modification with proper boundaries he will behave around your cat.
I am sure you love him, and again he deserves to feel safe yet given proper stimulation and adequate love and care.
Please keep him out of the room at night, not being there- I do not now what the trigger  is but it really doesn't matter-he is in the habit of attacking her.
Best of luck, I hope your kitty can become a peaceful happy cat.