8 1/2 week old boxer puppy

Question
I just got my puppy 4 days ago.  She hates her crate.  She always wants to sleep on our laps.  She seem to get so nervous in her crate and cries and barks.  I really want to crate train her.  Should I allow her to sleep on our laps in conjunction with her crate.  I know she's a baby, but I don't want to baby her too much.  I don't want her to rule me.  I don't want to be afraid of her when she's full grown.  We also have 4 children (3-16).  She gets so excited with the 3 and 8 year old that she jumps and play nips with them.  She'll chase them when they're walking.  How can I control this behavior?

Thank you.

Answer
Sorry for the delay-I had an issue with Allexperts accepting answers (after typing them all out!).

Here is a link to my crate training article, which includes tips to acclimate your pup to the crate:
http://www.jumpinjacs.com/Home/crate_training.htm

Keep her on a leash indoors while going through the training phase of her maturity.  This will restrict her ability to jump on the children, offering you the opportunity to praise her for good behavior.  Every time she keeps her feet on the floor, praise her for offering the "off" behavior and name this for her so it will become a habit.  Use the off command when she is trying to jump on the children (or anything else) and reward when her feet hit the floor.

I would recommend getting her into a puppy class as soon as she is old enough.  This will be key for her socialization as well as learning to pay attention in different settings.  Be sure to find a class that teaches with buckle collars only!!  I do not ever start a dog on a training collar, and certainly do not use them on a puppy-it is not fair to correct a puppy for not knowing what you want.  That is what training is for-teaching your pup what is expected.  I like to use this example-if you told your 3 yr old to go to the store and get a pizza, would you then spank him/her for not doing it?  Certainly not-because he/she doesn't know how to do that yet.  Be sure to find a positive motivation trainer to help you build a strong working relationship with your pup.

Congratulations on your new family member!

Keep persevering and you will succeed,
Erica