Littermates, four years on...

Question
Hi there, we have made the heartbreaking decision to rehome one of our gorgeous four-year-old Labs with my brother and I would like your thoughts.  

We got the dogs when we were living in the States - a friend of ours had a litter of nine pups, and we took a boy and a girl at seven weeks old.  In hindsight, getting two puppies when we'd never had dogs before was a huge mistake.  But we took them to Trust and Respect Training with a trainer, worked hard with them, and have two beautifully behaved dogs.... except the moment we leave the house.  Jake becomes over-excited, switches off his ears, and does whatever he likes.  He seems to be competing wight Kaia to be in front and pulls incessantly.  Kaia walks next to me, but seems to switch off totally and just be somewhere else entirely.  I have Easy Walk harnesses to allow me to walk them together - without those they would pull me over.  

In the States it wasn't a huge problem, as I took them to a double-gated dog park every day for an hour, so they got loads of exercise and socialisation.  In hindsight, I think my mistake was not walking them together from day one.  

We left the US and took the dogs to the UAE with us, where we lived for two years, and where there are NO dog parks, and in fact you can't take your dogs anywhere much.  We spent two years walking them on a leash (and they swam in our pool), but it was hard work to give them enough exercise in this environment, and we fell into bad habits, sometimes letting them drag us rather than walk next to us.  We had a baby (now 2), and the dogs have been fabulous with her, so gentle, so tolerant, I completely trust them with her (except she sometimes gets knocked over by an enthusiastically wagging tail!).  This has meant less time for the dogs, who were our babies until we had a human one.  They dealt with it really well, considering, and they have slowly got used to having less of our attention.

We've now moved back to New Zealand, and are wanting to add to our family.  I can't walk the dogs while pushing a stroller (too dangerous when they lunge and sniff and generally ignore me because I'm paying attention to the stroller), and can't trust them together off-leash in the parks here (which aren't properly fenced - Jake likes to take off, Kaia follows).  They require a LOT of exercise, and my husband travels a lot, meaning I can't exercise them while he's away.  A dog walker is not a long-term solution for us, as the dogs will hopefully live for another 10 years, and we will likely have this issue for another five (or less, if they calm down a bit).  

We have thought long and hard about it, and have decided their behaviour will more than likely improve if we split them up and give them each a chance to be the only dog in the house.  My brother is keen to take one of our doggies, and we have arranged to do a one-month trial.  

I wonder, aside from loads of time spent exercising them individually (time I don't have to spare in the conceivable future) and re-training them to walk on a lead together (which I feel like I've been working on forever with not much improvement), is there anything else we could do to avoid re-homing Jake?  Is it too late for it to make any difference to their behaviour (ie are they too old?).  Assuming we go ahead with the re-homing, how do we make the transition easier on them?  My gut feeling is that even though they will miss each other, they would both quite like to be the only dog in the house.  They love it when one of them is away and they get all the attention (eg when Kaia spent a night at the vet, Jake thought it was Christmas.  But they love each other - typical siblings I guess!).

Thanks for your thoughts.  Apologies for the long note!

Natasha

Answer
The Labrador is a STRONG dog and pulling on leash (along with intermittent "deafness") is common.  Stop blaming yourself for what you did 'wrong', because you've apparently done a great many things 'right'.  You have two highly socialized, friendly dogs.

It's never too late to teach a dog anything; lunging forward in most dogs is a sign of temporary leadership (as this position fluctuates even in Wolf behavior, dependent upon circumstance).  A dog "turning off his ears" is most likely a sign that the dog is over excited.  There are ways to counter condition these behaviors, but they require time, positive reinforcement training, and individual (one dog at a time) attention.  These things you apparently don't have, being a young mother and on your own due to your husband's travel.  Walking both dogs together with the stroller is definitely not something you want to undertake (for obvious reasons), but walking one dog at a time (using a head harness to control lunging while heavily rewarding the dog's NOT lunging) is something you can do (and you obviously understand this.)  It appears to me that you have already made the decision to rehome the male.  If you know for certain that your brother's household is EXACTLY what you WANT for Jake, with NO DOUBTS, then by all means go ahead; however, your hesitancy (based upon your decision to give it a one month trial) makes me think you DO have doubts. WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T.  Reintroducing these two after a full month might create problems and, if your brother's household has interacted with Jake in any way inappropriately, those problem behaviors will come back with him.

I don't know much about New Zealand or the capability of trainers (which means NO COERCIVES such as choker collars, shock collars, etc., and someone who understands positive reinforcement training), but if you can find a GOOD ONE, this situation can be solved.  However, it will involve your working with each dog separately (the male more than the female, as he is definitely the leader of the two), indoors and outdoors, teaching one or two solid behaviors and using a head harness for both; this requires your leaving the house without the baby every day for several weeks for at least 30 minutes, and then reintroducing the stoller to each dog independently before bringing them together.  NOTE: Even without a baby, there is no way you can adequately exercise either one of these dogs.  To tire out a young Labrador would require you to jog each one a minimum of one hour twice a day!  Exercise is comprised of many things, and one of those things is intellectual challenge.  There are MANY strong dogs living in situations where they never leave the backyard!  Using positive reinforcement training on each dog separately for 15 minutes a day over the course of 2 to 3 weeks, you can teach each dog ONE solid behavior and then ask them to work together.  After the dogs acquire the connection between this work and reward, the sky is the limit and you can absolutely engage each one, and together, in all sorts of short behaviors throughout the day that help develop their cognition and exercise their problem solving skills.

before you make this decision, read about dog behavior and problem solving.  Try Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and John Fisher.  Learn about positive reinforcement training.  ALL of the problem behavior you have described seem to involve your walking the dogs, NOT indoor behavior.  Think twice before you act and don't hesitate to repost with further questions before you make your decision.