a shih tzu that cries for me

Question
I have a 3 month old female shih tzu.  Whenever anyone else holds her, she cries for me, like a baby crying for its mother.  I have taken her to my mother's to watch, and she cried the whole time I was gone.  I don't know what to do.  My husband and 2 boys love her, but she won't go to them.  If I leave the room, she follows me.  If I go in the bathroom, she stands at the crying for me to let her in.  She is very loving and affectionate towards me, but I don't understand why she only wants me.  Please Help!  I feel like a new mother with a baby who has the collic.

Answer
You may have inadvertently shaped this normal attachment behavior to be chronic.  This is not your fault: with two children, it's your natural instinct to respond with comfort.  Any attention (eye contact, use of name, TOUCH, etc.) to any behavior in a dog is construed as reward; this neonate (very young baby) has overly bonded with you since you are most likely her primary caregiver.  When you leave the room or close yourself behind a door (as in the bathroom), she naturally wants to be with you.  But your response (from onset) to this behavior has actually rewarded it to the point where it is persistent.

One way to change this behavior is TO IGNORE IT CONSISTENTLY, no matter how that makes you feel.  This is not a human child.  IGNORING her crying and whining may feel very bad (as you would not normally ignore any crying baby!), but NOT ignoring it is creating a dog that can't bond with any other human.  When your mother was caring for her, and the puppy cried, NO DOUBT your mother did everything possible to dissuade her. THAT WAS A REWARD ALSO.

At twelve weeks, this puppy is able to be introduced to positive reinforcement training (in extremely short sessions, her ability to focus is not great at this time.)  Play training is the best introduction for a puppy this young.  Here's a link to some info:
http://www.dogplay.com/Activities/obedience.html

In several short sessions (no more than five minutes) daily, teach her ONE behavior: "SIT" (but use a unique word.)  Once she has obtained a solid response to this command, begin a "find it" training with one of your children or your husband the "findee".  This is a fun way to teach this puppy that being with other family members is FUN and rewarding.  You should also begin a daily session of "round robin recall".  This involves everyone sitting in a wide circle, calling the dog and giving her a tiny bit of special food (non fact cheese) when she gets to the person.  Don't let the hilarity get too loud, it may frighten her, but everyone should have a very good time doing this, including the dog.  Keep it short (only a few minutes, no more than five).  She will be learning to trust all family members, to go to them freely for reward. While teaching her, routinely separate yourself by closing a door between you (several times a day sporadically over the day.)  IGNORE the whining and scratching.  Interrupt the whining by a clap of your hands or another sound that isn't frightening (tap the sink with your hair brush) and THEN open the door to reward her SILENCE.  Don't make a big deal out of coming out of that bathroom.  Be nonchalant.  Never reward her crying/whining no matter how pronounced it may get -- interrupt it, and if you can count to ten (or even FIVE) her SILENCE will be rewarded.  

Change this puppy's perception of who's who by having your children and husband feed her (as often as possible) with you not in the room.  Socialize this puppy well, she has a very "soft" temperament and you want her to be confident everywhere, with everyone.  Introduce her to other places and people and reward her confidence, not her fear.  

To learn about dog psychology read John Fisher's "Think Dog".  The more you inadvertently encourage her dependence, the more fearful she will become as she gets older.  Reward her happy approach to others; ignore her reluctance.