Lonely cat

Question
QUESTION: I have an 8 month old female Persian-cross, not yet spayed but is soon to be. About a month ago my male Siamese-cross, who she loved dearly, died and now she's a little down. I still have a 15 year old American shorthair neutered male but he's more of a protector than a playmate. I considered trying to adopt another cat or kitten for her but there is a bit of a conflict. The girl cannot stand other females (she got into a fight with my friend's cat when we tried to introduce them) and the male picks fight with other males. What would you recommend?

ANSWER: Helen,

You can't just introduce cats immediately or there WILL be problems. You need to go through the introduction process correctly and slowly. It usually takes up to two weeks or more for things to smooth out and to have harmony.
Here are a couple of good links that tell you how to do it:
(copy and paste, or type, the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=library&act=show&item=cattocatintro

When you get a new cat it needs to be kept in one room with food, water, and litter for a few days. That gives the cat a chance to get to know you, gain confidence and trust, and get acclimated to having a new home. Then you let them explore the home gradually, one room at the time (while keeping the resident cats temporarily locked up). It is too overwhelming to have a whole big house at one time to be in. Also You can put the cat in a carrier  for short periods of time in a room that has the most traffic so it can get used to the normal people movements in the house and voices. Then as the cat is comfortable with the expanded area, let it go where it wants but still have the safety of it's 'safe' room to run back into. You should NOT add the introduction of a new cat(s) until the new cat feels secure and comfortable with you and the new home. Then you start the getting acquainted process. Otherwise there are too many new and confusing things going on, and too much to learn and accept all at once.

If you get a new cat if should be approximately the same age and temperment as the 8 month old. It makes the getting acquainted process a little easier. Older cats DO NOT usually like younger cats and usually do not become friends with them. The best you can hope for is acceptance. Be aware too that older cats (your 15 year old is approximately 76 years old in human years) can not take the stress of a new cat as well as a younger cat can and it the cat gets overstressed it can lead to health problems. Hopefully you won't have that problem. It is normal to have hissing, growling, and slaps. That is normal 'kitty communication' and nothing to worry about unless there are ears pinned back, fur flying, and blood being shed.

Here are some links to an article on a replacement cat and an article on cat grief that may be helpful: (copy and paste, or type, the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.messybeast.com/replacecat.htm

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

It will also do you good and a cat good if you get one from a shelter that probably will be put to death from overcrowding and being unwanted, and that will never know the love of a human, of having enough to eat, of having a real home, and never have a chance to catch it's first mouse. Another cat cannot replace the cat who died, but it will replace the emptyness in the home and heart that the cat who died left.

I hope this information was helpful. I'm sorry about the loss of your kitty's friend.

Tabbi






---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: It's been my intention to check the shelters around my area for another friend for her but I was wondering, do you think the breed of the cat will affect how well they get along?

Answer
Helen,

It is not THAT important, but it does help. Only three percent of all cats are 'purebred'. The rest are common domestic shorthairs/longhairs (mostly shorthairs). You were lucky with the Siamese X because that breed has a tendancy to be on the mean side with other cats. A pedigreed cat has so much 'blue blood', and being bred for show or breeding, has made a lot of them high-strung with behavior problems. I'm not saying all of them are, but it is common among them.  

It's the age and temperment, and prior experiences (though you may not know about their history) that are most important. A study found that there were no differences in antagonistic or friendly behaviors between cats based on gender pair combinations.

I am including another 2 links that you may find helpful about older cats and getting a new cat:

http://www.celiahaddon.co.uk/pet%20problems/cats/new%20cats.html

http://www.messybeast.com/Oldcat.htm

When you are looking, spend some time with each cat you like. Get to know their personalities. Look for a kitty that doesn't hide, that seems comfortable around people and friendly. If a cat gets up and comes to you, then it wants your attention. That's a good friendly outgoing kitty. Find one you bond instantly with. But take into consideration that they are scared and confused being where they are.

Tabbi