mom dislikes son

Question
QUESTION: dear tabbi
i have a followup the last time we spoke i asked you a question if my it was okay that my older cat adopted her daughters young kittens as her own and started nursing them then i asked a followup that what should i do when my older cat gave birth and miscarried all of them?
now i need your help again im down to my last hope my older cat had a miscarriage and unfortunately none of her kittens survived but she had her daughters kittens to adopt so she didnt take it so hard but now i have a bigger problem i kept one of the daughters kittens and the daughter doesnt get along with her own son at all she attacks him everytime he comes near her and this has caused chaos between her and her mother when she goes to attack her son her mother defends the son thus resulting in the mother and daughter getting into a fight i dont know what to do anymore the aggression or stress is escalating fast that it came down to the other day that i picked the daughter up and she scratched and bit me on my face i don't know what to do i cant tolerate that type of behavior in my house and its hard for me im a very busy person and im hardly ever home and i just dont know what to do i dont wanna give her up but im afraid if i cant help her its gonna result in that.

ANSWER: Monique,

One, please do not try to pick up an agitated/frenzied cat. Let them calm down first. For some reason, when a mother cat fights, other cats get in a frenzy and jump into it without knowing the reason or who is fighting who. And when in a frenzy, they will attack each other...and you if you get near them when they are like that.

Cats do not have any concept of family. Once a kitten is weaned, the mother no longer recognizes her baby as "family". The kitten/cat becomes just another cat who is familiar by smell. That is why there is so much incest among animals.

I have forgotten how old the kitten would be now. There are a couple of possibilities for the mother cat's behavior. If the kitten is still fairly small, then the mother may be teaching the baby how to fight. It looks and sounds scary, but it is normal behavior. The kitten may be trying to nurse again and she is 'weaning' him by fighting him off, or so it looks like. Again, that is normal behavior.

Do all 3 cats get along otherwise? Do they eat together, sleep together groom each other, and/or play together? What appears to be 'fighting' sometimes is just a form of kitty communication. Is there major fur flying or blood being shed? If not then it usually looks worse than it really is.

It would be a VERY good time to get all 3 cats spayed and neutered. Doing that will cure a LOT of behavior problems. A kitten can be fixed at 8-10 weeks old not. I just had 2 kittens neutered and they were 10 1/2 weeks old. A neighbor had her female kitten spayed at 10 weeks old.

Tabbi


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: the mother and her daughter get along fairly well but sometimes get into fights the daughter is just so frightened of everything that when her mom runs up to her she hisses and growls i guess out of fright. all three of them eat together they dont mind sharing only the mom and son groom each other and sometimes the mother will groom her daughter and likewise but the daughter never sleeps with or grooms her son he cant even walk past her cuz she'll growl and hiss at him if he runs towards her she'll attack him i got some calming pills from a local pet store and i gave her one the pet store cashier said theyre good to calm a scared cat so i figured i should try them i gave her one today but it didnt seem to work so i dont know what else to do

Answer
Monique,

You can re-home the daughter if you feel that will restore harmony in the home. Or you can let them work it out.

I'm not aware of any pills that are effective from a pet store. You may want to talk to your vet about getting a prescription for kitty Prozac. That is commonly used for cats that are stressed or have emotional issues. Usually a 2 week dose is enough.

Also Bach's Rescue Remedy is highly effective. You can get it at a health food store (people use it too) or on-line.
The remedy can be given by mouth, which is the most effective method. Only a few drops (4-8) are necessary, and need not be swallowed, but only must contact the mucous membranes (gums, tongue, lips). You can also add a dropper-full to the water dish, or a few drops on wet food (there is no effect of dilution). You can add a dropper-full to a spray bottle filled with spring water, and use it to spray a room, carrier, car, around litter boxes or plants, or other problem areas. You can even put a few drops in your hand and pat the animal on the head and around the ears with it--the head is very sensitive to energy and will absorb the flower essences in this way.

DOSAGE AND TIMING
Just a few drops (about 4-8) at a time are sufficient. For serious or acute conditions the remedy can be given as often as needed, even every few minutes. For most behavioral problems, we recommend 3-4 times a day for 2-4 weeks. If the response to the remedy is adequate by that time, you can begin to wean off by decreasing the frequency of administration. You may need to add a dropper-full to drinking water or give once a day long-term for some problems.

MULTIPLE ANIMALS
The Bach Flower remedies are nontoxic and will not adversely affect any other animals in the household. It is fine to put the remedy in a common water dish. In some cases we may even want to treat multiple animals in this way. The Bach Flowers work through a principle of resonance; if the animal needs the remedy, the remedy will act. If the particular remedy is not correct, there will simply be no effect.

Additional websites for information:
http://www.petsynergy.com/flower.html
http://www.oes.org/page1/Bach-Rescue-Remedy.html
http://www.nelsonbach.com/BFE_for_pets.html

Tabbi