Im scared of my horse!!

Question
I just bought a 12 year Registered Paint Mare a few weeks ago and the lady that I bought her from didn't ride her much the past year and a half.  She bought Gem (the horse) as a fully trained, kid to grandma, safe horse.  A couple went out to look at Gem before me and the lady was thrown off when she asked Gem to go into a area she was never ridden.  When I brought her home I let her get used to her new home and the other horses for about half a week before I tried to work her.  The first time I went out, I went to the round pen to lunge her and a few other horses had access to the round pen (I was unaware that they had access because I'm boarding at a new place)  The head gelding went nuts and bit her twice and didn't let me or Gem out of the pen to get help or even to safety.  He was on the outside of the pen!  Well things got fixed and we got out.  I figured I'd let her have a few days to regain confidence in me and herself.  The next time I went out I tacked her up and lunged her for a while in the round pen and she did fine.  When I got on her it was only for a few seconds and she threw me off!!  The next day I tacked her up and placed a feed sack on her back thinking that maybe she was unsure what to do with weight on her.  She walked just fine out to the pen with the sack on her and soon as she got in there she went nuts and wouldn't stop bucking for about 3 min.  So I just lunged her for the rest of the day.  Then this last sunday I was determined to ride her and when my husband and I got there she was fine and calm but wouldn't let me on her.  She let my husband on but not me.  He rode Gem just fine with me leading her.  We weren't in the round pen, so I think that she has an issue with it since she was attacked in there.  Then again today I went to ride her and she tacked up just fine and when I went to get on her, she stood there and so did I!! I'm now scared of my horse, and I don't know what to do.  I have had a few bad experiences but I've been ridding for 10 years.  I never have owned a horse but I always go ridding with friends that have "timid" horses.  I think it might be the fact the Gem is very large Paint Horse.  Do you have any suggestions for me on how I can cure myself so I can enjoy my horse??!!

Thanks in advanced,
Ana

Answer
hi ana,
well its simple really. she throws you because she knows your scared. she didnt do anything to your husband because hes a man and he probobly wasnt scared. look at it this way. in the round pen you have soft ground, falling off doesnt hurt that bad. you have to be tuff, face your fear and show that mare that you will not tolerate it. loung her before you ride her. before you get on make her circle in a tight turn around you going both ways. when mounting have your inside( the rein on your side) tighter so she is looking at you when you get on. once your on circle her around tightly both ways again. then ask her to walk. if she bucks pull her in a circle and she wont be able to do it any more. make her circle around for a minute or so then make her walk. when a horse is resistant to go forward its a sign they will buck or rear. always keep her forward. if she bucks at a trot or canter make her move, kiss, click, kick, smack, whatever. just get her forward and dont let her stop until she is tired. all she is is sour. dont let her scare you. lifes meaning isnt to arrive in a coffin in a well preserved body, your suppose to skid in with a tattered body saying holly shit what a ride. ( excuse my french) =)
so just face your fear and dont let her get the best of you. if you have any new problems just come on back and i can help. good luck
amanda groff