Our dog Billie

Question
Dear Mr kelley.  We have a delightful Parsons Jack Russell, called Billie. She is nearly 3 years old.  She is a dream of a little dog.  When we first brought her home, we had an elderly little terrier,called Basil, Basil had diabetes/cushings disease and had to be injected twice a day and he was going blind.  He was full of life a proper character.  He got us up 2-3 times in the night for a wee, we put a dog flap in the back door, but he could get out but couldn't see to get back in so we would get up and left him in.  Basil wasn't too keen on Billie at first and used to be grumpy with her but every morning, when they went into the garden for their toilet, she used to walk round with him, almost warning him of any danger, which there wasn't, and she used to spend ages just washing his face, which he didn't grumble at!  Every day they had their coats on(winter) and right up until 2 days before he died, just after Christmas a year ago, I used to take them in the car to the park every day.  We kept Basil alive as long as possible and just when we thought he might start to suffer, dear little Bas went out into the garden to do a wee and then he died, it was terrible.  Anyway, since then, Billie as become so timid.  Obviously, she misses Basil, as we all do, but she's timid about odd things.  I work from home so she is rarely on her own.  I take her nearly every day to the park and she meets her two friends penny and kai, two little terriers and we walk round the park for about 1 and 1/2 hours, every day, they run and play and are so happy together.  Indoors, she has her own settee, beds upstairs and down, she can go where she likes, She adores my 18yr old son who goes to work every day as a barristers clerk and she loves my husband, most evenings she washes his face for about 10mins, I take her everywhere with me and love her so much, but she doesn't really sit with me or kiss me like she does the other two.  Finally, this is the problem, Billie is so sweet natured, never growls or attacks other dogs, she is gentle, she has the terrier instincts, loves a game, when my son fires the air gun in to the skip she rushes round trying to get the pellets(he is so very carfeul), she even pulls the air rifle about to make him 'play the game' again and she loves fireworks however, sometimes indoors she is so timid, jumps at the slightest things if we suddenly move, make a slight noise, she'll run under the table, only eats her dinner if we are not near her, and yet, she has nevery been chastised, frightened, told off, she has only every been treated with love and kindness, which shows in her character, but I just don't want her to be frightened about anything or so jumpy.  when she's with her little friends or they are at our house, there's no problem at all.  Do you think she is lonely or that's just her make up.  I'm sorry to go on for so long, but I wanted you to see just how much she is loved and I don't want her to be frightened or timid about anything. Obviously she misses Basil but he died nearly a year ago.  Her diet is good, I put veg and Chicken/lamb/turkey in the slow cooker and she has biscuits with omega oil.  She doesn't eat muck or rubbish, she is just a delightful little soul and I don't want her to be troubled, please can you help, kind regards Sally

Answer
Hi, Sally,

Thanks for the question.

I think you're right, in a way, that Billie misses Basil. The impression I'm getting though (and don't take this the wrong way), is that Basil acted as a kind of buffer for Billie between her and the humans in the household. She was scared of having these three tall, vertical beings around her, and loved it when their focus was more on Basil than it was on her. The biggest clue to this is that she's over-friendly.

For instance, the constant licking of someone's face, is a definite symptom of social anxiety. From the sound of it this has nothing to do with any mistreatment on your part (though she could have been mishandled by a vet tech or her breeder). If anything you may be giving her too much affection. You're certainly doing a bang-up job of giving her enough playtime with her friends! But they're dogs, they walk around on four legs just like her. So try to be aware of times when she shows fear or nervous behavior at home, and remember that the worst thing you can do is comfort her! That will only reinforce the fear.

When a papa wolf first teaches his pups how to leave the den, and go out into the big scary world, he leads them away from mommy, and then he starts some play initiation behaviors. He bats at them with his paws, he does a play growl. As soon as they get ready to run back to mama, he rolls over on his back and lets them jump on top of him.

I think you need to do something like that with Billie. And I don't mean on the bed, I mean on the living room or kitchen floor. If you and your husband and your son can spend time on the floor like that with her every day, she'll start to feel less nervous around you. What I'd even suggest is that you stimulate her playful feelings to the point that when you're on your back she doesn't just like you, but actually nips at your nose. When she does YOU MUST PRAISE HER enthusiastically.

Once you've done that for a week or two, you can start hand feeding her all her meals outdoors, while you're down her level on the ground or a small step. This may mean that if she still insists on eating only when you're not around that she'll have to skip a meal or two until hunger overcomes the fear. Once you can get her to successfully eat out of your hand outdoors, you can start doing a pushing exercise where she has to push into in order to eat. A few weeks or so of that exercise and you'll have a fearless new Billie on your hands.

Here's a complete description of the pushing exercise: http://tinyurl.com/3balu6

Another thing that will help is teaching her to speak on command. Once she learns that, anytime she's frightened about anything, just tell her to speak, and as soon as she barks her tail and ears will come back up and she'll feel much more confident.

I hope this helps!
LCK