How to make a stray feel at home.

Question
We recently rescued a kitten who appears to be about six months old. She is very fearful of being touched, but I think hope is in sight. She sleeps out in the open and shows incredible curiosity in our comings and goings. After less than two weeks of captivity she eats out of our hands and occasionally will play in my lap. She rarely hides for any reason.

While I realize she will always be a little skittish due to her childhood, I would like to be able to pet her eventually. How can we help get her to that level of trust? How do we know it's working?

Answer
Merrill,

More than likely the kitten had a feral parent. Their distrust of humans is inherited. They are not like domesticated house cats and will behave like one. Ferals can be very loving, follow you around, and sleep next to you BUT they DO NOT like to be held or petted for very long. They also usually only bond to one person...the one that takes care of their needs. She will probably always be skittish.

I have 3 that are a year and a half old and have had them since birth and they still are like that. If one hears any strange noise she runs under the bed for hours. Two will not let you hold them for more and a minute. One will only let you pet her if she has a toy in her mouth!

Just be very patient with her.  Let her develop trust in you at her own pace, though it may take a long time. They are very sensitive too so watch raising your voice at her, and don't ever swat her. That will regress any progress you have made and make it harder to regain her trust again. Give her lots of love and attention but don't try to cuddle her or force your affections on her. Let her come to you as she feels comfortable.


Getting a kitty friend for her about her same age would be helpful. Most cats need a friend to play with, and to be companionship and comfort when they are alone. A feral cat also can learn from another cat about interactions with humans, and develop confidence by watching, and learn from it. Watching you pet another cat is good. She will learn that you are not hurting the other cat when you pet it, and that the cat enjoys it.

She will improve over time. What is inbred into her is deep and you need to try to get past it. Give her special kitty treats like tuna or tinned sardines in oil. Food is a great bribe. You want her to associate you with pleasant things.

Ferals are hunters and enjoy being able to do it. If you keep them inside all the time then you need to satisfy that hunting urge inside to keep them mentally well-balanced. Giving them a raw beef rib bone periodically as a treat (I have the butcher cut them in half) satisfies the "fresh kill'. Plus the fibers help clean their teeth. You should give her things to 'hunt' as she gets older...like stuffed toy mice, little crafts balls that you can throw (all my feral kitten 'retrieve' when I throw them), or a pet laser light (Petco, PetSmart, etc.) that she can chase the little red 'bug' on the walls, ceilings, and floors. It is a great interactive toy between you and the cat, and it helps you bond.

I hope this gives you some insight on how to work with her. With time, patience, and love she will be fine. Also, it is a good time to get her spayed...that will help too.

Tabbi