United Airlines Institutes The First Fat Tax

I heard this story last week and was going to write about it, but then, I got busy and it
slipped my mind for a couple of days. I was looking for something else entirely on the
internet, when it popped up again.

I thought I had better write about it, while it was fresh in my mind.

Almost everyone I know has an airline story about sitting next to a "Lardassian," a turn
of phrase coined by a friend of mine called The Big Kahuna. He travels quite a lot and has
had a number of instances where the spillover has been quite unpleasant.

This is what it boils down to when you're flying the friendly skies, or anywhere else for that
matter. You pay for a seat, and you get stuck next to a Lardassian, who has also paid for one seat, but who takes up one and a HALF seats--namely, half of yours. The airline doesn't charge the Lardassian for taking up half of your seat, or give you half a refund, or even try to make you happy.

My friend The Big Kahuna avoided this problem for a long time by taking extremely early flights, that were never full, so if this problem arose, he could easily move.

Then came the recent oil crisis, and those flights just disappeared. Now, almost every flight he takes is full, and he could easily get stuck in a mighty unpleasant situation.

My friend has a hilarious story about sitting next to a woman who, in addition to being huge, had a monstrous gas attack that almost cleared the entire section of the plane.
I have joked about a fat tax before, but now it has become real. United is already implementing the policy, and six other airlines are following suit, in the near future. Can movie theatres, and Broadway, be far behind?

I don't think so, unless someone sues, and you just know that a Lardassian is going to sue that this is discrimination.

But there has to be a way to compensate the people who are being made uncomfortable by the Lardassian spillover. Would it hurt the airline to give away some free tickets to those who have had to endure the suffocating heat of being pressed up against a whale walker for hours?

I think if we taxed those who obviously violate basic health standards, we could probably come up with a huge amount of money for health care. You smoke, you pay triple the going rate; you take drugs, you pay quadruple. I'm just undecided about how much to tax fat people.

But the fact is, if you're seriously overweight, you are going to seriously tax the health system.

And if we look around, some of the fattest people are the ones not paying any taxes at all. Under Obama, they'll probably become a protected class, and just get even bigger.
What they need is my pharmaceutical grade fish oil, but they won't pay for it, because it's more important to buy potato chips, soda, and cookies than to get serious and admit they have a problem. Fish oil can help these folks shed unwanted pounds.

It isn't a weight loss or diet pill, but it does balance out the body and mind, which is necessary to start losing weight. A number of studies have shown that groups taking fish oil have lost more weight than those who don't. Repeatedly.

But there is so much noise about diet programs that claim to take 11 pounds off you in 9 days, you barely hear about it. It's like the old turtle and hare story.
The hare is all the "amazing weight loss" stories, and pharmaceutical grade fish oil is the turtle, steadily plodding along, losing a pound or so every week, but getting better results in the end.

98 percent of all those on "amazing weight loss" formulas fail, and fail repeatedly. It's important to get on the right program, and stay there.

Lay a good foundation. Get your mind and body balanced, and then take the slow steady approach. It's what works.