sleeping beauty

Question
Hello;

I have a 2 year old english bulldog.  He is very obedient although he does move at his own pace.  It is very easy to train him except on 2 things.  First he isnt allowed to sit on the sofa, he never does it.  That is except when he is alone.  He notices that we go to work and school in the morning, he then gets on the sofa and throws down the pillows because he doesnt like them and then sleeps there all day.  As soon as he hears the door open, he gets off and runs to the other side of the room so i never catch him doing it.  I know that he does it because i always find my sofa pillows on the floor becausee he doesnt like to lay on them and I've caught him a couple of times because he didnt hera me come in.  He knows its wrong because he never does it when we are home and the couple of times that ive caught him, he immediately jumps off the couch without me saying anything.  Im not sure how to train him not to do something like that.  Wich brings me to my second problem.  I dont expect him to guard the house because he isnt that type of breed but it would be helpful if he at least barks at people when coming in the house.  He almost never barks, when he wants to tell me something he makes like a crying noise but almost never a bark.  He is very protective of the car, and everytime he is in it, he never allows anyone to get near the car unless i let them.  How can i make him be protective of the house instead of the car? The only way he would bark at someone is if he sees them thru a window and its dark out.  Ive had maintenance men come in while nobody was home and they all tell me that my dog basically sleeps through all of it, maybe takes a half look at them and continues sleeping.  They could be robbing me and my dog would keep snoring.  Thanks in advance for your help.
William

Answer
There are products, like the "Scat Mat," that people can put on their furniture to keep their pets off.  Or you could use another type of aversive as mentioned in the following document:

http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/dog-avers.pdf

As far as the barking, many people would trade placs with you.  Having a dog that barks at every sound, or never shuts up, is a worse problem.  I don't think I can offer you much help in that area.  I have golden retrievers, and they are such a friendly breed, they often say if a burglar breaks in, the dogs would show him where the jewelry was.