Death Of A Pet---4 Ways To Cope

Regardless of how wonderful the quality of life is that we offer a pet, at some point death will separate us from them. It doesn't seem to matter whether the parting is swift, or takes them over time, the parting is excruciating. Here are 4 things you can do to cope with the loss.

Cry---There's no question you'll do this a lot. But don't be embarrassed by it, and don't try to hold it in. Crying is a very healthy way to deal with loss. Anyone who has lost a pet or anyone dear will certainly understand and empathize with the deep emotional attachment that has been transformed by death. I would say the relationship has been severed by death, but that wouldn't be accurate.

My 9-year old daughter made an excellent point this week when our 12 year old Golden Retriever died. She said, "Even though Carson is not with us, we will always carry him in our hearts." Then she looked up at me and asked why she was suddenly sounding like me.

Your pet will always be a part of you, and even though you can no longer see it, it will forever live through your memories. This may seem like precious little comfort at this point, but time will help.

Laugh---Laughing is one of the best ways to feel better. The funny stories are never far from the surface and can make you feel better even if it's only for a moment. Sharing those laughs with others who knew and loved your pet is time well spent.

Connect with your friends. Ask them to remember funny stories about your pet and send them to you. Make a memory book with these stories and pictures. This is so important because one of the things death does over time is erode our memories. With this kind of keepsake, great memories are kept alive not only for you but for those who may never have even met your pet.

My mother-in-law would often share stories about her childhood dog, Buddy. She used to get a particularly big chuckle when she would tell us about the time he swiped a candy bar and left the paper in a very obvious place. So even though her dog had been dead for almost 60 years, his memory lives on through us.

Talk With Other Pet Owners---These are people who know what it is to love a pet and to lose one. They are probably only too happy to share coping ideas that worked and ones didn't work. Most of all they are usually good listeners because they've been in the same spot.

This is also true for people who care about you and know how important the relationship with your pet was. They will usually listen patiently because they feel that it is the only thing they can do to help.

On a day when everything was reminding me of my Golden who had just died, I asked my friend if he was tired of hearing me talk about Carson. He immediately replied no and said Carson was a part of me and always would be. The gift of listening is one of the nicest gifts another person can give at a time of loss.

Adopt A Shelter Friend---Sometimes the mere thought of loving another animal seems disloyal, somehow a betrayal of the love we felt for our friend who is gone. The truth is that our hearts have an unlimited capacity for love, and loving another pet in no way diminishes the love that we felt and will continue to feel for the one who has left us.

So I will end with a cliche. But having been through it three times now, I can say with confidence that time will indeed make it better; not all better, just better.

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