Thank You, Bo Obama

Thank you, Bo Obama.

Thank you for all the good work that you will be doing for the days, months and years ahead. I salute you, First Dog.

I used to think being the world's most powerful leader was a pretty respectable position. But being the world's most powerful leader's dog?

Way to go, B(r)o.

You may not know it yet, but you have a very important job that may have far-reaching ramifications for our country and the world at large.

Allow me to explain. A week ago I read this blog post by Intent Voice Brett Sanders, who shared with us a quote on your species that went like this:

"A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart, not popular, not a good joke-teller, not the best athlete, nor the best-looking person. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born. You are his friend and protector."
- Louis Sabin, All About Dogs As Pets

Having grown up with dogs all throughout my childhood, just reading that quote sparked within me a seemingly strange yet comforting web of logic. If Einstein's Theory of Relativity goes that there are no absolutes in this universe and truth is completely in the eye of the beholder, then why not put our dog's evaluation of our moral character above the opinions of, say, our other human peers?

After all, you dogs are the most loyal, loving and trustworthy members of the animalia kingdom to walk on this earth. Unlike us humans who can get pretty self-absorbed even at the expense of our loved ones, you consistently and effortlessly drop everything that you are doing to greet your human owners with loud, euphoric leaps of joy in countless households across the nation. That gets so much more points for moral reliability than some of the flaky humans I know.

Furthermore, you dogs don't carry complicated reasons to dislike people or weird Machiavellian ulterior motives with every social interaction. As the quote describes, it doesn't matter to you dogs if we're rich or poor, a Republican or Barack. In your colorblind eyes, all humans deserve every drop of your undying adoration, unless they are very bad people who give off very bad people vibes--such as bailed-out CEO's, or dictators of oppressive regimes.

Which brings me back to how you have the most important job in the world.

You, Bo, will be keeping our President very happy and unconditionally loved. You will be wagging that tail and yelping happy, grateful woofs when your owner comes home after an entire day of running the country, making public appearances, laughing at the buffoonery of Newt Gingrich, being a good husband and father, and still trying to find the time to, you know, be sane when every global citizen is breathing down your owner's neck to save this world from self-destruction. You won't backstab him with your political bullshit, and you won't be a lemming to the future whiners who will be disappointed when your owner fails to turn water into wine and make the healthcare crisis go away in the next three days.

Heck, even Michelle and the kids can only do so much. You fill in the gaps when they get too tired or busy to be lovey-dovey to Barry or Daddy. You won't judge him when he feels short-tempered or too lazy to be inspirational. Instead, you will stay quiet--and simply listen with those soulful puppy eyes when your owner slips backstage from his global savior performance to have some private time to be human like the rest of us.

And when your very human owner breaks his public no-nicotine pact and starts chain-smoking in secret, those loyal doggie lips will be sealed.

As countless studies have shown, people tend to do their work better and more efficiently when they're happier. So what could possibly be more important than keeping the world's most powerful leader happy in such a tumultuous, challenging time of great conflict and widespread suffering?

Thankfully, with dogs as yourself, I don't need to tell you that you have the world's most important job. You are already so good at what you were born to do: making your human owners happy.

The rest of us humans are pretty envious, actually. At six months, you've already attained that state of enlightenment that so many of us pursue for an entire lifetime.

All you have to do is be.

Why First Dog Bo Obama Matters by Alexia Parks

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