My English Bulldog Drinks Fiji Water

Both PETA and the SPCA would be proud of me, though obtaining their approval has never been high on my list of goals. It all started the other day when my wife came home with a six pack of Fiji water. I don抰 know why water from the myriad of sources in the United States is not adequate, but after many years of marriage I learned the Golden Rule for husbands: 揇on抰 ask.?

For your information, Fiji is an island nation in the South Pacific Ocean east of Vanuatu, west of Tonga and south of Tuvalu. I know that nailed it for me, but in case you are less geographically knowledgeable let me add that Fiji is about 4776 miles from Los Angeles and a couple thousand more to Georgia.

I was getting a glass of water from the door of our refrigerator through a filter that has needed changing for six months when my wife said the bulldog wanted water. After washing his bowl she filled it with the aforementioned Fiji water. Let抯 go back to the refrigerator water for a minute. I used to buy those $50 filters until I figured out that when the light turns red (meaning get a new filter) if you push the button a couple of times it turns green again. Don抰 tell my wife.

In 2006 119 million liters of water were imported to the US from Fiji. It is a hit with the fashionable LA set and I don抰 mean Lower Alabama. Upscale restaurateurs serve the beverage to their wealthy clients, little realizing that it also seems to be a favorite of my English Bulldog, Stonewall.

Generally speaking bulldogs are not known to be particularly discriminating when it comes to the water they drink. They are even known to drink from the toilet bowl. Therefore it is my considered opinion that importing water over five thousand miles for the dog is a bit of a stretch.

But maybe the more important question is who came up with the idea of bottling water in Fiji for export to the United States? Did a couple of native Fiji Islanders sitting on a white sand beach looking at the amazing blue-green ocean decide that bottling Fiji water was a sure ticket to riches?

They must have believed one or more of the following: A, The United States needs a new source of bottled water; B, People in the United States will buy anything; C, Environmentalists complaints will be ignored by status seeking bottled water aficionados; E, People in the United States will buy anything. Oops I said that already.

It reminds me of the time I ran out of shampoo and someone suggested using the dog抯 shampoo. I realized then that I couldn抰 afford to use the dog抯 shampoo. I pay about a dollar for a bottle of my shampoo and fifteen dollars for the dog抯 special medicated shampoo.

Living a dog抯 life, at least in my house, is not so bad. He eats expensive food, sleeps on his bed next to ours, is walked and played with, gets excellent medical care, has someone to brush his teeth, clean his ears, clip his nails, and give him a bath every week. He poops in the yard, and I clean it up. Not to mention that he sometimes drinks Fiji Water and I never do.