Poodles

Question
Hi! I've been having some problems with a stupid poodle that I bought. I'm not sure what brand it is.  I bought it like 2 months ago, and I really take care of it well (buying it expensive doggy clothing, the best food brands, diamond collars, etc.), yet this God forsaken thing won't shut up! All I hear is *YAP YAP YAP*, all day long! I'm telling you... this bitch doesn't know the value of the almighty dollar because if s/he did (I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl), it would be the most well-behaved dog on the planet. I originally wanted it because I wanted one to carry around in my purse and as a companion (like Paris Hilton and her dog Tinkerbell), but this dog was a M-I-S-T-A-K-E... mistake! I put it in my pocketbook (a new Fendi Spy Bag), and it PISSED ALL OVER THE PLACE! That dog ruined a $2500 bag! He's lucky I stopped living by the motto "You piss on me, I piss on you," a few years ago, or else that dog would be covered in the brightest, yellow urine I could find. Hell, I'd probably dehydrate myself just so it was extra potent. Do you have any idea how bad dog piss smells? Oh don't even get me started on its turds! They stick to his/her butt as if they're clinging for dear life. How do I get those off? I don't think the store will take it back with crap stuck to its ass.

Ugh, excuse my venting... Anyway, how do I get the dog to shut up? Maybe it'd be easier to just give it back. Can you recommend a better brand of dog? I want one that's cute, small, quiet, travels well, and potty trained, and as far away from a poodle as possible. Thanks! :-))))  

Answer
Hi
I think a Maltese would work for exactly what you want to do Liz Taylor takes her to the hospital with her.  They are white fuzzy balls quite cute, small and quiet.  Poodles were never on my list of favorites.  Also the mini Yorkie, mini Schnauzers are quite cute, try one of those might be more costly as Poodle are a dime a dozen and I swear some are inbred they way they act.  Good luck.