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Male Neutered cat mating behaviour

20 13:49:16

Question
QUESTION: Hi Melissa
I am concerned about my 10 year male neutered Siamese. His moggy companion died in March and to keep him company we adopted a six month old female kitten.
He didn't take particularly well to her but they seemed to settle down after a few weeks. Anyway in the last couple of months when I raise my voice to tell my children off he gets upset and starts meowing at me. It started with him just meowing and pawing me but has now escalated to where he is trying to mate with my arm and grips it with his teeth. He is also now regularly biting the other cat on the back of the neck and looks like he is trying to mate with her. She is spayed.
He does seem to be quite jealous and when I call the other cat he comes running, meowing. His behaviour is now upseting my children and they won't go near him as he has tried to nip them and has started to react with the same behaviour whenever they raise their voices as well.
Please help!

ANSWER: You have a very confused cat on your hands right now. The behavior your describing sounds like him attempting to be domineering. I think he is being this way because he has not adjusted to his companion being gone and with this new cat; he is trying to find his role/place in the household. Just curious, how much time passed before you brought home the new kitten? And it sounds like you noticed that no matter how often a cat is used to another cat, bringing a new cat/kitten in the picture causes territory issues and jealousy.

I would actually recommend making playtime/attention time specifically with him so he doesn't think you are trying to replace him with this new kitten. Do they eat together or play together at all. Even if they do, I want you to feed separately and also make sure they each have their own litter box. The other and harder part is to continue with the daily routine as nothing has changed. I do hate to say this, but I would have thought twice about bringing in a new kitten in the picture. (I know you had no clue what to expect.) Another recommendation is getting a pheromone diffuser for the household, specifically where he likes to spend most of his time. The popular one is Feliway and it's a synthetic product made to mimic the mother's scent and aid in calming.

As far as the behavior when you raise your voice- how do you handle it when he reacts that way? As you know, the siamese is a very vocal animal and I'm wondering if he's getting irritated because he's trying to show that he should have the last and only say. But I do fully believe he is trying to re-find his place in the household.

Keep me posted on this as it could easily turn into a trial and error situation.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Melissa
Many thanks for your email and advice.
It was about 2 months after the other cat died that we got the kitten. She was 4 months when we got her so not tiny. The reason we got her is that we are out alot during the week and didn't want to him to get lonely. Our neighbour said she could hear him meowing during the day.

They do play together and will sit next to each other on the sofa and bed during the day. He is affectionate towards her and will greet her by washing her face & ears. They do eat together and we've never had any problems with them fighting over food.

He is abit fussy about his litter tray so we will follow your advice about the litter tray. Our vet recommended Feliway and we have had a diffuser for a week now. No improvement so far. Do you think it is worth getting a spray as well to put in his bed?

At the moment when he reacts to any raised voices, we say 'No' and push him away. If I don't push him away he does nip me. We do tell him off when he gets hold of the kitten, should we leave them to fight it out?

Many thanks for your help
Sarah

Answer
I'm not opposed to scruffing him and removing him from the situation when he reacts to the loud voices. It's one more way of showing him he's not the boss and is not allowed to get away with that behavior. Does he react the way you want when you say "no?" If he does, go for it. If not, don't bother and find a different approach. I really wouldn't let them fight it out unless you know the fight will break up. I personally would be afraid the kitten would get hurt and would rather prevent it from happening in the first place.

And you can absolutely put a diffuser anyplace you want!