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Just neutered male Siamese behavior

15:26:08

Question
QUESTION: Jessica,

I recently lost my beloved seal pt male to bladder cancer at age 19. His female litter-mate (lilac pt) and I both miss him very much so after 3 mos., I got a 2 yr old male choc pt. He was bred twice but the breeder thought he liked people more than breeding so she was retiring him to a good home. I had him neutered about a wk after I got him (now 2 wks out from surgery). I introduced them slowly but the male goes from being sweet & affectionate to aggressive (to me almost more than to the elderly female) when he is with the female. He won't let me pet him & starts lunging at me & batting me, fortunately w/o biting or claws (yet). Yet, if I separate them, he immediately is Mr. Nice Guy. I'm getting freaked out b/c he's a big cat (11 lbs) & I don't want his bad behavior to escalate.

What is going on?? Will it get better as the testosterone leaves his system? The vet said it would take a month for it all to clear. The male has grabbed the female's scruff a few times--she hisses & seems to do a good job at telling him who's boss but she is a little frail so I'm still afraid to leave them unsupervised but I can't keep them separated forever.

Help!! I have squirted him when he's grabbed at the female's scruff & when he's lunged at me but I don't want to overdo it on the discipline. On the good side, he has never sprayed even when he was intact.

Thank you very much.

ANSWER: Hi Peggy.  So sorry to hear about the recent loss of your beloved seal point.

I think the neuter should help some.  Reducing testosterone never hurts anything!  I also think that anxiety is probably playing a major role in his behavior right now.  Siamese become very strongly attached to their people, as I'm sure you are aware after spending 19 years with your other two.  I think he's still feeling a lot of confusion and anxiety about leaving his old home at this time.  And he's probably able to deal with one change (a new person) better than he's able to deal with two changes (a new person and a new cat) at a time.  So while he's with you, he's okay, but while he's with both you and your lilac point, he's a little overwhelmed and lashes out.  I think as he gets more used to the situation over the next couple of weeks that he should calm down.  I find Siamese a little slower to adapt to new surroundings than other cats, so if you can afford it, it may do him some good to have a little more alone time to adjust to the situation.  

Something else I always recommend is a product called Feliway.  I use the plug-in diffusers in every room in my house.  It helps tremendously with the spats I used to see in my home.  The set ups are a little pricey, but I have found them worth the cost.  You can buy them at most pet stores, online and through some vets.  You can usually find them on amazon.com for about half the price you'd pay at pet stores.  You can learn more about how it works at www.feliway.com

I don't think you'll have to go this far, but medications have been used to control aggression in the worst cases.  When testosterone is the suspected cause, megestrol acetate has been used.  It's a female hormone best avoided because long-term use can have side effects like diabetes and mammary tumors, but one injection may not be detrimental.  When it appears anxiety is the cause, then antidepressants may be successful.

If you're afraid claws may become involved, another product I've used and recommend is Soft Paws.  They're vinyl nail caps that you glue over the cat's natural nails.  They shed off in about 4 weeks, so once his behavior improves, he won't have to wear them any longer.  You can find them at many pet stores, at some groomers and order on their web site, www.softpaws.com


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thx for the reassurance--it makes sense that 2 chgs at once are a bit
overwhelming. I ended up getting the feliway spray so I could apply it to
various surfaces. Have you found the spray as effective as the diffusers?
Giving the new guy lots of extra attention in his private room and doing some
fast-paced play time. Any clue how long it might take for them to peacefully
coexist?

Answer
They spray is a good product, but I have found it not to be as effective only because it's difficult to keep it in continuous supply.  With the diffuser, you're sure that the synthetic pheromones are in the air at a constant level at all times.  With the spray, it must be applied to surfaces several times a day to be beneficial.  Nevertheless, if you are consistent with it, it should work just as well as the diffusers.  My problem is that I am too forgetful!

The average cat takes about two weeks to get comfortable in a new home.  The average Siamese, in my experience, doesn't entirely relax for about twice as long.  This varies tremendously, of course.  There are those who can feel comfortable anywhere, but as a breed, I've found they are extremely sensitive to change and can become moody when faced with too much confusion.  At any rate, if it goes as I would expect, I think you should begin to see a turning point in the next couple of weeks.  

I think it's important to realize that Siamese, as a general rule, have A-type personalities.  They're assertive, and there will often be some struggle for dominance between a Siamese and any other cat.  This doesn't mean a physical fight will erupt, but mounting behavior is certainly part of a dominance effort.  And the chocolate point will probably continue to try to mount her until he either succeeds in securing the dominant position in the household, or your lilac point puts him in his place once and for all.  Unfortunately, this can only happen if they're allowed to finally work it out.  Certainly, he can't be allowed to harass her relentlessly or hurt her.  But if she seems to be holding her own, I would try not to intervene and allow the two to establish who stands where.  Once that's settled, the peace is rarely disrupted.

I think if you are still having issues with his lashing out at you while she's around in another few weeks, a vet consultation would be wise.  I don't think it would be related to the move at that point, and it may be time to discuss hiring a behaviorist or trying a medication.